Sunday, January 4, 2009


I’m not advertising toothpaste; I want to pray for you {clears throat}:

My prayer for you is that you appreciate that what didn’t kill you in 2008 has only made you stronger for 2009. It is easier to remember what you have lost, but from today, you will have strength enough be thankful for what you still have (and are still to have). You will achieve so much this year, (so keep moving).

I said no to New Year resolutions in 2001. There was no point making a ‘top 10’ list only to break them after a few hours. I wasn't the better for this decision, so this new year is about making sure I learn the lessons life has for me. To show you (and Life) how serious I am about this, lemme kick things off with the first lesson I learnt a few days to 2009:

Tot-ful Observations
Meet Baby, my 4-year old niece.
She’s very cute, calm, smart, and generally pleasant to be around (though her mother calls her Winnie because she can whine sometimes… I think she likes Winnie the Pooh, too).

The following is a conversation she had with one of her father’s friends:
[Characters: Baby, Uncle Henry and I.
Uncle Henry is pouring petrol into the generator, while I hold the funnel for him. Baby is giving us moral support. Alors soudain…]

Baby: [With her characteristic calm, sweet voice] “Uncle Henry.”

Uncle Henry: “Yes?”

Baby: “Is it true that you turn into a spirit in the night?”

Uncle Henry: [Still pouring fuel] “Hm?”

Baby: “Daddy said that you used to turn into a spirit in the night”

Uncle Henry: “M-m!” [He’s now probably thinking, is that so?]

Me: [Thinking to self] M-m, is that so?

We lapse into silence as I wonder what he’s thinking. And it’s probably the Nollywood movies and co. I’ve been paying attention to, because I’m fast becoming suspicious of him: No wonder I didn’t really like him the first time I saw him… It is very possible he does iska runs… but how did her Dad know? Hmm. Unsolved mysteries. My mind begins to wander to other topics, then Baby pipes up again.

Baby: “Uncle Henry, do you know what Achi said?”
[Achi is her 9-year old sis, and I’m thinking, I know that I should butt in and distract her before she says something embarrassing, but I’m just… too… curious]

Uncle Henry: “What did she say?”

[Too late for distractions now]
Baby: “She said your teeth look like a vampire’s”

Me: [Foolishly bursting into laughter but still attempting to do damage control] “Ha!! Ba-by! You eh! Why don’t you just go back into the house?”

[But of course, Baby doesn’t budge]

Uncle Henry: [Still pouring fuel and not looking up, he calmly replies] “Tell her I will beat her”

Baby: “Noo, don’t beat her. Just turn into a spirit and bite her.”

Chei! Baby has done it again!

The question is, did her Daddy really say that? And did Achi really say that his teeth looked like a vampire’s? (And besides, do his teeth really look like a vampire's? I was too shy to see for myself).
The answer to both questions, is yes.
So why did her Daddy say so?
Because a few nights ago, Achi had told him that Uncle H’s teeth looked like a vampire’s. Her Dad, (who loves to tease her), was so amused he decided to scare her by saying he’d turn into a spirit in the night in order to catch her. Obviously, Baby took this to heart and decided to find out from the ‘spirit’ himself.
Lesson: I’m going to watch what I say around kids from now on.